Sunday, March 28, 2010

You Suck - Christopher Moore

Yay!  A SEQUEL!
Being the dumbass that I am, I actually read this one BEFORE Bloodsucking Fiends because I thought it came first.  But you all know that it is second, because here I am telling you right now!
Clearly, this one also r0x0rs, since I read it first and then felt the need to read the other.
The reason this one CANNOT POSSIBLY BE BAD?

wait for it . . . . .




This list:
Feed
Laundry
New Apartment
Toothpaste
Sweet Monkey Love
Windex
Dispose of Vampire
Minion
Now, Tommy as vampire is all, 'wahh I don't want to be a vampire and kill people' cause he's a whiny little dopey writer.
So he borrows a huge cat from a homeless guy with a sign that says: I'M HOMELESS AND MY CAT IS HUGE.
Chet, as this cat is known, turns out to be mostly fur, so they shave him.  Unfortunately, Chet's blood tastes like cat breath.
Oh, and there are some new characters introduced!
Such as Blue.  She's a prostitute with breast implants who painted herself blue to attract more customers and stand out from the prostitute crowd.
The Animals like her because, well, 'haven't you ever wanted to bone a smurf?'
Yeah, those crazy turkey bowling stoners.
There's also Jody and Tommy's minion: Abby Normal (note: not her real name).
She's a teenage goth whose friends make fun of her for being too perky.  She says things like: 'OMG I am a minion of the nosferatu!  My friends will be SO JEALOUS!'
She also uses the term 'fucksocks!' a lot, and meets a Chinese biologist named Steve and falls in love with him because he's a manga-haired 'ninja.' He tries to explain to her that his name is not 'Foo Dog' and that ninjas are Japanese, but Abby Normal is not a smart goth.  But that's part of her charm, see.
So you see, the series continues with larfs and joy and all that.
And I just remembered that this is the book I was reading when I met my husband, so if you're single you should read it to attract your true love.  Not that it necessarily will work, but hey, why not?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Sunshine- Robin McKinley

Sunshine (Young Adult)
Apparently Amazon has no picture for this book.  Which is a shame, because the cover is beautiful.  It's one of those covers that make you want to buy it instead of checking  it out from the library, like Fallen was. Here is what my copy looks like- there are other covers too, and they're all pretty nice.

Also, it's not all that 'young adult.'  The main character, Sunshine, is not very old, but she has a steady job in a world where she has to fight off vampires (I'm on a vampire kick as a homage to Bite Me: A Love Story and Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume 1 (The Twilight Saga) coming out just recently).
This is NOT a vampire love story.  Vampires in this book are bad.  Like, lock you in a room and torture you to death and drink your blood, the way they ought to be.
However, Sunshine (who gets her name because her ability to do magic is based on the sun) unfortunately gets locked up in some dreadful chamber with a vampire who the other vampires are trying to punish.  Oddly enough, maybe because Sunshine is just so loveable or something, they form a truce, and later a weird friendship.  Sunshine has a badass boyfriend (you know he's badass because he has a motorcycle), who is very human, and the humans DO NOT want the vampires around, because they, well, suck.  There's a lot of night time creatures running around in Sunshine's world, but all she really wants to do is make cinnamon rolls, but because she's so magic and all, gets dragged into this vampire war thingamajig, and almost cheats on her boyfriend with her new vampire friend until he gets weirded out and throws her against the wall and confuses the crap out of her, but they remain friends in a world which does not approve.
There is plenty of action, and the writing is very good (I consider this one of McKinley's best because it's so different from her other works which are more fairy tale based [yes I love that too, but we're talking about vampires now; we'll talk about fairy tales later, I PROMISE]) and it really does keep you enthralled.
If you're looking for a different sort of vampire story, I highly recommend this one. 
Now go read it.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Graceling - Kristin Cashore

This book took a bit longer to read than expected.
That was mainly because I got horrifically ill for a few weeks and couldn't read, so don't take that as a sign that it sucks.
Because you know what?  It's doesn't! It's really good!
Apparently, girls whose names begin with 'Kat' are always kickass characters (Katniss Everdeen, anyone?).  Cause see, Katsa, she can beat the crap out of ANYONE. ANYONE.  It's because she's 'graced,' meaning her eyes don't match and she has a special ability.  Other people in her world have the same type of thing going on, but different abilities.
Abilities ran the gamut of mind-reading, killing, mind control, and other things that don't do much, like being good with horses or something.
Katsa can kill anyone with her bare hands. Her king has made her his tool, but she doesn't really like that.
So she meets this hot graced prince, and they go off together to solve a mystery involving his family, and Katsa pretty much tells the king to piss off.
Oh, and of course, romance ensues, because come on, pretty kickass chick and hot prince going off together?  What do you expect?  Celibacy?  Ha!
She does go through a phase where she's mad at him, and then later in the book there's this part where he's hiding in the woods and she's trekking over mountains with a ten-year-old, and that part isn't as interesting, because all you get is, 'oh i hope she doesn't have frostbite' which isn't nearly as interesting as, 'I'ma kill all you SOBs and then do this prince who is also pretty kickass but not quite as kickass as me' but then they get to a village and everything gets more interesting.
The best part of this book?  The main character!  OMG!  I love it when the girl is so freaking badass, it's so much better than when she's all, 'oh, i can't live without my man, and everyone is going to kill me and i must be protected, weep' because honestly, girls who can hold their own are way better.  It's all 'empowering' and whatnot.
Katsa, in my opinion, is a great role model, not because she runs around killing people, but because she can do things herself, she doesn't need a man, but she can still love one.
I think that's what every girl should strive for.

Oh, and I would like to thank Jackson Pearce for recommending this book on her youtube channel (I have a link over there ->)

Friday, March 19, 2010

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story - Christopher Moore

A book which starts with the line, "Sundown painted purple across the great Pyramid while the Emperor enjoyed a steaming whiz against a dumpster in the alley below," cannot, by any twist of the imagination, EVER be a bad book.

It is simply not possible.

Since you know already that this book is fantastic, you are probably DYING for more details.
Dying, of course, because this is a vampire love story.
But, it is not full of , 'oh edward, i love how you sparkle in the sun' or anything.
In fact, the girl becomes vampire first.  Jody, see, gets bitten by a vampire, and then becomes one.

Later she falls in love with dopey wannabe writer Tommy, who moves out to San Francisco because that's what dopey wannabe writers do, right?
And of course they meet hot redheaded vampires.  But he doesn't KNOW she's a vampire, because that wasn't part of Frommer's San Francisco. And it's not like he wants to be a vampire; he may dopey but he's not a 13 year old girl, for crying out loud (cheap shot, sorry)!
Add this in with a cast of characters generally referred to as the Animals, who run a grocery store and get stoned a lot, and bowl with turkeys and what have you, and hot damn!
Do I even need to give you any more information?
Are you not already addicted?
And does it not make you EVEN MORE EXCITED that there is not one, but TWO sequels (second sequel coming out in  less than two weeks, giving you time to read Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story as well as You Suck: A Love Story before Bite Me: A Love Story hits the shelves)?

And just so you know HOW FREAKIN' GREAT these books are, you will be delighted to know that Christopher Moore has been compared to Dave Barry and Tom Robbins in the same sentence (no, not by me, by the Onion on the back of my copy of You Suck: A Love Story).
Oh, and there's villains too.  Just so you know.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins

So like a while back I was all, 'OMG OMG READ THE HUNGER GAMES, YO!'
If you have not done so, STOP READING THIS RIGHT NOW AND GO READ IT, or else I'ma slap ya.
If you HAVE read it, then you can read this, because Catching Fire is the SEQUEL.
For serious!
'Cause you know, this is a trilogy, and the third one, Mockingjay (The Final Book of The Hunger Games) comes out August 24th in the US, just in time for Angela's birthday, but sorry Ange, it comes out in September in the UK.
Anyway, this one is comparable to the first one when it comes to plotting, excitement, characterization, joy of reading, orgasmic delight, killing people, and so on.
So if you've finished The Hunger Games, you know that Katniss, in all her badassery, comes out alive, but refused to kill Peeta and he refused to kill her, and so they got to go home.
But the Capital was Pissed Off.
And they said, 'we cannot let them live.  they are bad children who must be beaten.  or preferrably killed. and so on.'
So they come up with this brilliant plan to make all the districts send two winners BACK TO THE GAMES.  Meaning, 'oh Katniss and Peeta, you are so going to have to kill each other now OR ELSE.'
Or else means, of course, some other badass will kill you, muahahaha.
But remember District 13?  The one they say was totally obliterated after their little uprising?
Well . . . .  there's something going on there.
Not sayin' what.
I mean, you probably won't really know what's up until Mockingjay (The Final Book of The Hunger Games), anyway.
But I have my mockingjay pin, so you know I'm part of the revolution.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

We the Living - Ayn Rand

"What?" you ask, "Ayn Rand?  How is that 'stuff young people read?' I thought it was old people who were all about Atlas Shrugged."
Well, let me explain.  Before Ayn Rand went too crazy about capitalism, she wrote this book about a girl in her late teens named Kira.  Kira lived in the new Soviet Union, and was from a family that was once pretty wealthy. However, things were changing quite a bit.
Kira decides to start college, studying architecture.  She dreamed of designing buildings.
Then she meets some guys.
One of them is a somewhat noble fellow named Leo.  She quickly becomes obsessed with him and they get a nice flat together.
But since Kira and Leo are from upper class families, things start getting taken away from them.
They're no longer supposed to have money because that don't fly with the Soviets.  They're not really supposed to have such a large flat, and some lower class girl gets to use half their flat and they have to share a bathroom with the dirty whore.
Seriously, she was a dirty whore who had a miscarriage in the bathroom and refused to clean it up because it was too 'bourgeois' to keep a shared bathroom clean.
Oh, and then Kira starts sleeping with Andrei, who was a really nice guy, but  a Communist. So she naturally does not tell him she's living with Leo and uses him to get stuff she wants that she can't get because she's bourgeois.
So for a while, she's got a setup.
Then she gets kicked out of school for being bourgeois, and her life generally sucks.
Plus she's two timing these guys, cranky Leo who she loves and sweet ole Andrei who really loves her.
And everything pretty much goes downhill from there.
Now, the main message of this book is that living in the Soviet Union sucks.  However, it is also about a young adult woman trying to find her way in a world that makes no sense, and it's not nearly as preachy as Atlas Shrugged.  Which, to be honest, could have used more editing.  However, We the Living is not preachy, and uses the plot to get the point across.
And really, it's very interesting.  It was probably one of the most powerful books I've ever read, and I can't figure out why everyone reads Atlas Shrugged (Cliffs Notes) instead.  I consider this book to be Rand's best work in all its heartbreaking glory, and it's based on things that actually happened, not some theory of what the world will become if we don't listen to her (you know, like her other books).