Sunday, March 28, 2010

You Suck - Christopher Moore

Being the dumbass that I am, I actually read this one BEFORE Bloodsucking Fiends because I thought it came first.  But you all know that it is second, because here I am telling you right now!
Clearly, this one also r0x0rs, since I read it first and then felt the need to read the other.
The reason this one CANNOT POSSIBLY BE BAD?

wait for it . . . . .

This list:
New Apartment
Sweet Monkey Love
Dispose of Vampire
Now, Tommy as vampire is all, 'wahh I don't want to be a vampire and kill people' cause he's a whiny little dopey writer.
So he borrows a huge cat from a homeless guy with a sign that says: I'M HOMELESS AND MY CAT IS HUGE.
Chet, as this cat is known, turns out to be mostly fur, so they shave him.  Unfortunately, Chet's blood tastes like cat breath.
Oh, and there are some new characters introduced!
Such as Blue.  She's a prostitute with breast implants who painted herself blue to attract more customers and stand out from the prostitute crowd.
The Animals like her because, well, 'haven't you ever wanted to bone a smurf?'
Yeah, those crazy turkey bowling stoners.
There's also Jody and Tommy's minion: Abby Normal (note: not her real name).
She's a teenage goth whose friends make fun of her for being too perky.  She says things like: 'OMG I am a minion of the nosferatu!  My friends will be SO JEALOUS!'
She also uses the term 'fucksocks!' a lot, and meets a Chinese biologist named Steve and falls in love with him because he's a manga-haired 'ninja.' He tries to explain to her that his name is not 'Foo Dog' and that ninjas are Japanese, but Abby Normal is not a smart goth.  But that's part of her charm, see.
So you see, the series continues with larfs and joy and all that.
And I just remembered that this is the book I was reading when I met my husband, so if you're single you should read it to attract your true love.  Not that it necessarily will work, but hey, why not?


  1. Oh, lol, I didn't know it was a sequel either, and went and bought You Suck the other day :o

  2. Ohhhhhhhhhh I soooo love Abby Normal! And the Animals. Well get ready to have you sock knocked off.. there is a new one Called Bite Me * A love story*! Here is the skinny on it.. March 23, 2010