A Frog Laden with Meaning.
All of these terms pop up in the third book about Ruby Oliver, the Seattle teen who can't stop thinking about boys.
In the third adventure of the delightfully neurotic teenager, Ruby starts out with:
One (1) male friend who she might like
Two (2) female friends
One (1) annoying ex-boyfriend
Multiple ex-friends, one (1) of which is Japanese
One (1) slightly better reputation
And of course, one (1) internship at the Zoo.
But wherever Ruby goes, something bad seems to happen. While she has already gone through the stage of mocha latte (a euphemism for puberty, which just doesn't sound nice), she is currently in the state of Noboyfriend.
That is NOT where Ruby wants to be.
But there are boys EVERYWHERE! Her ex, Jackson Clarke, douchebag extraodinaire and definite disloyal bastard, has dumped the girl he dumped Ruby for and is getting all up in her business again. Of course, Kim, the ex-friend, who dated the infamous Jackson Clarke, still hates her with a fiery passion (personally, I would think that they'd kind of see that they were both PLAYED BY THE SAME JERK, and that should bring them together again, but this is preppy high school, so clearly I have no jurisdiction in the area). Her good friend Noel she thinks she likes, and he likes her, but Nora likes him, and Nora would never ever forgive Roo if she made a move on him, is becoming a natural part of her chemistry class, where they learn all about emulsions and orange bras.
Meghan is on the prowl, thinking it might be fun to date a cute sophomore. Roo is cofused and panicking out all the time due to things such as:
1. Kim being a nasty ex-friend
2. Jackson being . . himself
3. The possibility of her and Nora both liking the same boy which is just not alllowed
4. Deadbeat dads who put their two year olds on top of animals at the zoo
5. Really disgusting feet belonging to someone who calls Roo's shrink 'Schmoopie"
6. A bake sale that she must find people to volunteer-bake for, even though the old bake sale girls were more interested in making creatures out of marshmallows instead of food that tastes good (Roo does not like food that tastes bad, and would prefer to sell tasty baked goods that people will actually enjoy eating, preferably baked by boys)
7. Should I go on? I don't know; there's just so much Ruby Oliver going around . .
Amid all this mess, Roo's life picks itself up and falls apart again, and while she does gain a Great Dane named Polka-Dot due to a lie she told her mother about what her shrink said (whoops!), she loses some other things.
Not EVERYTHING, however, though it does feel like it.
If you need more persuasion to read this book, here are a few choice quotes:
"I want to hear more about your hooters."
"Nothing is hotter than a boy who can feed me."
"Did your mother raise all her children to be sexist or did she single you out?"
"PONCHO! PONCHO! PONCHO!PONCHO!"
I think that pretty much sums it up.
Oh, and there are marshmallow Jesuses.
Don't forget--there's still Ruby Oliver #4 all nice and ready for reading too!